The true importance

People don't think they are worth it. Ask the person to your right "What's your worth?"
Did they just give you that face. The confused one, with a side comment of "My what?" of "I'm trying to do my homework" I bet they did, because they don't know how much they mean to you.

So tell them.
Lately I have made a point to let people know when they truly mean a lot to me. It's not all about self worth, you mean something to others as well. There is a particular person who has stood out to me lately, and I realize that I need them. I haven't told them directly, and I feel sad about that, but it is going to happen. These last few weeks have been cram packed full of hell that I can't put up with, and then someone comes along willing to talk to me about it. That is how it always is with them, they are always there right when I need them.

It's not who I would think either. A ton of people talk crap about this person. Why? Because they simply dont know. Which brings me to another important point.
Stop judging. I'm sick of the assumptions. the stereotypes. the gossip. Why participate in something that is about to bite you back.
I am not saying I don't, because I am guilty. I just accused myself of being a hypocrite, but I still hope it changes.
It kills me when I see someone less fortunate get made fun of.
It kills me when you bash on your friends at their expense.
It kills me when I am on the receiving end.

Just remember: that person could be you.

I love the people I can go to. I love that they know when I need them.
They have worth.
You have worth.
and I think I have worth. I'm not perfect, I don't do everything I should. I'm not the best friend. I can be a real jerk, but I am glad to be loved anyway, and I am trying.

It takes a lot for me to say that I'm going to be myself. That I am going to try harder. And that I am worth it.

But to get myself there, you all have to know that you are. You are worth it. Don't ever forget it.

I want a Jedi

I wrote this essay for AP language, and being the nerd that I am, I quite like it.

    We live under the constant shadow of perfection. These non-existent life forms that forever haunt us with their complete understanding of life and it’s purpose. These beings that know how to protect themselves and others effectively. Having two brothers at home, I realise the true importance of these creatures, and it will haunt me until I die. I always thought that I wanted to be one of them, but I have come to the conclusion that I just want one of them. I want a Jedi.
    If I had a Jedi of my own, there are certain things that I just wouldn’t have to put up with. Crowded hallways would never be a problem again. Just bring my Jedi friend along and those people are being forced out of my way in a heartbeat. A family member comes into my room to wake me up, and my Jedi friend is there to mind-control them into thinking it is three o’clock in the morning. Can’t decide where to go to lunch? My Jedi is there to tell me how much I love Del Taco (even if I don’t). Someone upsetting me, no problem. Eat my Jedi’s light-saber.
    I would love to be able to get all my homework done without getting distracted. With a Jedi, they could just mind control me into finishing it. I am not the tallest person in the world, and a lot of times, I can’t reach something that I want. All they would have to do is use the force, and it’s in my hands. The traffic on the way to school is getting seriously ridiculous, but this wouldn’t be a problem for me, because my Jedi would know how to make and operate a spaceship or hovercraft that could get me there in no time.
    What about their sense of the future? No more worries about where I should go to school, how I am going to pay for it, if I will ever get married. They just know, and they will tell me what is best. I would become something that I want to be sometimes, intimidating. Only I will be intimidating, and still be awesome. He could help me find answers to my questions, or challenge me when needed. My Jedi would make me a better person.
    Sometimes, I just want to do something out of the ordinary. An adventure, a journey. That is no big deal for my Jedi, because he is familiar with many galaxies. On those days when I am just tired of Human life, my Jedi could introduce me to his fellow Jedi’s, or other alien friends. I would never be bored. They even have droid friends, the kind that could do anything technical for me, and I would never have to deal with that.
    You can do just about anything with the back-up of a Jedi. Think about the inventions that they have; devices for breathing under water, grappling hooks, light-sabers and bullets and bombs that seek things. Plus they are simply genius. They always have a way to make something impossible work. Who coulld have a better personal trainer?
    One day, I may find something that I like more, but for now, I just really want a Jedi.

you know how the time flies. only yesterday was the time of our lives.

I write when I am inspired. I am supposed to be writing an essay right now. But, I am not that kind of inspired. I am blog kind of inspired. There are so many things people take for granted. I feel like one of them is my amazing friends. I love them. so much, and yet... I take advantage of them.
I don't want to give off the same first impression any more. the "i am a jerk that makes jokes at other peoples expense". I want a new one.
But, I love my life. I love examples. I love God. And, I love my friends.
not to mention music. that regulates my emotions.
And by the way.
Regrets? I should dance still. bleh. that gets to me sometimes. I once dreamed of being a choreographer,. who would have thought?
I quit my job. and love that I did.
I am going to shakespeare next week, and I couldn't be more excited.
this post is me rambling. so if your bored, dang.

I should call kailee. she would understand. yep. doing it
I love you. peace out

she stands against the lightning and the thunder.

Do you ever just feel like you are so happy. I was just walking down the hall today, and something felt different. I finally realized, it was because I was smiling. I was just going to my car after class, and I was smiling from ear to ear. Usually I don't smile unless I have a specific reason to, unless someone makes me laugh or I make eye contact with a friend. Right now, I just want to smile all the time. Having that, and just realizing that, felt so insane.It's because I had that oppritunity to let my feelings go, and I took it. My real feelings, not a character I was playing, not a face I was putting on to be normal, just mine. I can't say how much I needed that.
It takes a lot for me to feel important. But this week, I do. Today, I do. And you are not about to take that away from me. I love my life. I love my school. I love this. I love me. Oh my gosh. I do. That is cheesy, but I dont care. I feel so good about it, that I don't care about my imperfections. I just want to be me.

Why do I tell my story? so you can hear it. so I can feel it. so that this feeling can last forever. just listen to us. we have this. we are strong. we want you to feel. so tomorrow: listen. that is what I pray. that you can feel what I am feeling, because it is the greatest feeling in the world.